AN EAR AMISS
Simon Collery

Vincent Van Gogh had a congenital ear;
On one side of his head did it adhere.
And this appendage he excised
For in portraits, balance was what Vincent most prized.

He then composed an apology
For the inconvenience and trouble he
Had caused; on the double he
Delivered it to a model he
Employed from time to time.

Vincent wrote, "be of good cheer!
For one can hear with just one ear.
If the balance had been upset by your head
Then I would have excised your head instead.
If I had done that, you would be dead!"

The artist went about his business
Failing to notice his semi-earlessness.
A short time later a letter came
Bearing Vincent Van Gogh's name.
Vincent was unamused, but he did say this:
"Someone must be trying to take the piss
In sending me this poem 'An Ear Amiss'."

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Copyright © 2003 Simon Collery

Updated 070503